Review of Wall-E

So, WALL-E. Not my usual cup of tea, Pixar movies. Mainly because it's physically impossible for them to make a bad one. Sure, Ratatouwhatever wasn't all that good, and the video-game tie ins are usually crap, but no matter what anyone says, little kids will still be drawn into them. There have been a couple exceptions to this rule (The Incredibles, Toy Story and so on), but most of them are kinda ehh. Thankfully Wall-E does not fall into the latter category.

This is the part where I talk about the plot to prevent me from actually doing any work or thinking. It's 700 years in the future, and Earth has become a desecrated wasteland with mountains of trash. A monopoly called BnL sponsors a trip into space for the rest of humanity while thousands of WALL-E (Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-Class) units behind to clean up the mess. All of them have been disabled except for one, who has developed a personality and has an understanding of human emotions by watching Hello, Dolly! (No joke)

Soon the doldrum of his life is interrupted by a spaceship carrying EVE, a female robot whose job it is to find plant life on earth to determine if it is colonizeable again. WALL-E befriends her, and mistakenly shows her a plant he collected, causing her to follow her directive and capture the plant. WALL-E protects her for some time until the ship comes back to pick her up. He hitches a ride on the ship and arrives at the human space colony, Axiom. As WALL-E chases EVE across the city, it becomes aware that humankind has become extremely fat and lazy aboard the ship, having robots do everything for them, drinking meals and going everywhere on hoverchairs. All working jobs are done by robots.

EVE and WALL-E discover that there is a bigger conspiracy going on in the city, and it's up to them to save the day.

Going into the movie, I felt pretty good about the quality. It's Pixar, what more do you want? I didn't expect it to be a blockbuster, but a nice flic to hold me over until The Dark Knight comes out. Besides, what else is out now? The Incredible Hulk? Not worth it. Kung Fu Panda? Jack Black does not a movie make.

Thankfully, it's one of the better movies I've seen this year and one of the best Pixar movies. If you're a kid, you'll get a kick out of the funny moments such as when EVE gets caught in a magnet or when WALL-E accidentally crushes a cockroach, only to have it spring right back up. If you're an adult and worried about where society is going, like myself, you'll be able to look past the funny and see the serious undertones about our life.

The visuals in this movie are exceptional. Every time a spaceship blasts off or something explodes, you're seeing every single particle of shrapnel as it flies through the air. Pixar is just getting better and better, though there really wasn't any reason to do except with movies like The Incredibles. That actually needed to have some good animation in it.

I really liked the romantic turn this movie took, a bit of a side-step from most Pixar movies. It's like how The Incredibles actually showed a real family having real family issues with superpowers attached. EVE was a really cute character, and both she and WALL-E are really good together. A lot is spoken between them, even though not much is said. It's enough to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I was more interested in this romance than I would be in nearly any other live-action movie. Perhaps the reason for this was that it was believable. Not like the Incredible Hulk "omg, liek im gonna stop teh hulk from destroing teh city by kissing it" bull. Too over the top.

In all, WALL-E's a cute movie for a cute audience. It really kept me interested, as any Pixar movie will eventually do, and though I saw the dramatic turning point from a mile away (SPOILERS: the ship's autopilot looks like HAL 9000. That's about all I need to say.), it was still executed fairly well.

I give WALL-E a 9 out of 10. It's a Pixar movie that's actually really good. You should give it a shot, maybe you'll have a good time. It'll be better than Kung-Fu Panda, that's for sure.

A Beginner's Guide to Fanfiction

Hey guys. I've posted a new story. Unfortunately, this is not exactly a story so much as a guide, as indicated by the title. I posted it on Deviantart and Fanfiction, so you can see it now.

Fanfiction: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4334569/1/A_Beginners_Guide_to_Fanfiction
Deviantart: http://kyouger.deviantart.com/art/Fanfiction-for-Beginners-89133066

Have fun.

Hentai forever,
Kyouger.

Review of Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

'Ello, G'uvner. It's not often I make two posts in a day; in fact, I've never done it at all. And if I do happen to do this strange thing, it usually means that I have something important to say. And I most certainly do in this case.



When Sweeney Todd came out in the theater, I'll admit that I wasn't too excited about it. I've never been a huge fan of musicals, what with the debacle that was High School Musical, so I failed to see it. But now reveling in the online world of Xbox Live, I happened to discover that it was available to rent for a mere 300 or so Microsoft points. That's about the equivalent of four dollars, easily rentable. And as time had passed, I had begun to hear very good things about the movie and decided to give it a whirl.

As I went in, pretty much all I knew was that there was this barber who kills people and has an oddly attractive assistant who helps him do... something. And he has a really cool chair that people slide down into a bottomless pit of death. But that's pretty much all I knew. Oh, and that Tim Burton directed it and Johnny Depp acted in it. First film that came to mind when I thought of the two (And pale-faced Johhny Depp) was Edward Scissorhands, a film I also enjoyed immensely. And how can anyone say that they've not seen or at least seen parts of A Nightmare Before Christmas?

Even as the opening credits started, I was aware that this was going to be a very bloody film. I'll make a note of this right now so I don't have to later. The R rating is there for a reason. Don't expect them to skimp on the blood in favor of harsh language or something like that. The worst thing I heard for sure was shit, and Mrs. Lovett may have said either 'bugger' or 'fucker,' I'm not exactly sure which. Again, if you have a younger sibling, don't let them see this movie. It's got more blood than a Jason flick, though it is few and far between, and the subject matter that it deals with is extremely dark.

Well, I'm four paragraphs in and I haven't even started about the plot yet. After the credits, Todd gets off a boat in jolly old early 1800s London and remembers the loss of his wife and daughter to an extremely cruel judge named Turpin (Played by Severas Snape! That was really cool to see), who banished him from the city so he could bang Todd's wife. After wandering the city for a short time, he comes back to his old shop, which is now owned by a downtrodden young women named Mrs. Lovett (Who I find very attracted to for a strange reason. Maybe it's the pale face, maybe it's the elegant dress which exposes half of her breasts) who makes meat pies. She relates to him that his wife is dead and Judge Turpin has his daughter locked away. Todd sets out to find her.

Later, he bests a ridiculous frenchman in a shaving contest who later comes to his shop to do... crap. I think that's about all I can do without giving away the major plot of the movie. Basically, I can tell you that Sweeney decides that everyone deserves to die and opens up shop while also opening peoples' throats.

As I walked away from the movie, I got about fifteen steps before I had to sit down and compose myself. The entire film was a dramatic thrill ride from start to finish. I was kept at the edge of my seat for so long, I failed to go to the bathroom once during the easily pauseable movie and relieve myself of the 24 ounce Pespi that I had consumed halfway through it.

I really don't know how to feel about Sweeney himself. Part of me thinks that he's simply a murdering psychopath, and part of me thinks he's a misguided soul whose heart was broken and simply needs revenge to complete his life. Perhaps this is why I felt such a connection to him as a character. All I'm saying is that you might not see me as an Akatsuki the next few cons I go to. A bit of hair dye, a bit of face paint, a barber's shirt..

Now I knew this was a musical, and since the captions failed to work that night, I probably missed half of the singing lines. Now this may or may not be a big issue to some people. For me, it wasn't much of a problem. More of an annoyance than anything. But I will say that about 85 percent of the dialogue is singing, and the rest is spoken. If this annoys you, remember that this is a musical, albeit the most dramatic and bloody musical outside of Shakespeare that I've ever seen and probably ever will.

The ending in particular was really profound and deserves mentioning. I've never been so deeply moved in a movie since I was 5 and Mufasa died. I really didn't want it to happen, and I'll be thinking about this for quite a while yet. Maybe even a story could come out of it; I don't know.

I really can't praise Johnny Depp and Tim Burton enough coming together to form a tremendous tag-team acting/directing duo the likes of which I've never seen. I really can't praise this movie enough. The acting was impeccable, the drama made me want to cry (Which is something I've never done in a movie, EVER), there was plenty of blood, and there were even a couple of funny parts, though you have to be in the mood for them to really laugh. I mean, come on. How many musicals have songs about cannibalism? Zero many, that's how many, man.

In summation, Sweeney Todd was a masterpiece of cinema. Well... Alright, it does have its problems relating to the mainstream audience. It's a musical that's not for kids. This will probably make peoples' heads explode, as these two things have always gone hand in hand together. So, it's not for everyone. If you're a gushing romantic, don't see this movie, because there will be more things than hearts bleeding in this movie. If you're a Ritalin pumping Rambo fan who can't go more than 10 seconds without seeing someone killed, don't see this movie. If you're both of these and need a true masterpiece to complete the triangle of insanity, then you have to see this film.

I'll give it 10 out of 10. I'll cherish this movie even as I grow old and gray. There's no doubt about that.

I'll end this review with a quote from Sweeney himself.
"There's a hole in the world like a great black pit,
and it's filled with people who are filled with shit.
And the vermin of the world inhabit it.
And it goes by the name of London."

It's like Super Smash Brothers Brawl... except with extremely hot anime chicks.

If there is a god, his name is Monty Oum. I don't know any of the characters, but it doesn't fucking matter. Only someone with divine powers could do something like this.



And this, if you're a halo or metroid fan.

I believe Alice Cooper said it best.

Ah, yes. Today marks the beginning of the most glorious time of the year: summer. I suppose this will be the 2nd summer past since I signed on to fanfiction, and hopefully the one that I'll actually be able to do something with. The updates probably won't be flying by the hour, but I'll try to do as much as I can. Now back to Matchmaking, bitches!
P-E-A-C-E!
Kyouger. (I hope byakuganwalker isn't going to sue me for that.)

Lolicon. Why, exactly?

Hey, all. I've been pretty bored lately, so that's given me a lot of time to think. And as we all know, thinking is bad, children!

If you've paid close enough attention, you'd probably know that I like lolicon immensely. Hell, my first M rated fic (off the site) was an UruruxRukia, and my first actual fic was going to be a TophxKatara. Even though I love it to bits, the question that kept creeping its way into my mind was why exactly I like it. I thought I could easily answer that, but I found that I couldn't. This got me started thinking about why lolicon is attractive to so many people. I mean, I'm not a pedophile or a child molester (And if you are, eat shit and die), but I still harbor and attraction to the younger members of the opposite gender.

As of 2004, the Supreme Court officially declared that banning lolicon was unconstitutional. I'm not exactly sure of its legal status now, but I'm pretty sure George Dubuya Bush outlawed it in the US, though it may depend on the situation it's presented in.

What's most odd about this is that I'm attracted to the small, childish, flat-chested animated girl as much as the 18 year old DD one. I suppose both of these aspects came into play with Tsunade, though it did kind of turn her into a Frankenstein of fetishes.

I've come up with a couple theories as to why I and many others are attracted to it. I think part of it comes from early childhood experiences. Think about it; when was the first time you were attracted to a girl? My first crush was in 1st grade, so naturally when I think about it, I'm thinking of the girl as she was at 6 or 7 years old. Thinking that would usually be considered pedophilia, as you're not supposed to harbor feelings for someone that young. So perhaps, looking back, I see many of the other girls as much better looking than I did then, and perhaps what I missed out on. Still, this may not be exactly why I came to lolicon, or why so many others are.

The second idea may have to deal with genetics. Trust me, I'm not a scientist, and I haven't cracked the human gene code, but from what I've heard, many of our personality traits simply come from inherited genes or mutations in DNA. Hell, this is really off the wall, and I'll admit that I have no clue if any of this is true or not.

Another thing that comes to mind as I'm writing this is Valamir Nabokov's novel Lolita, which the word lolicon is deprived from. Humbert (The main protagonist), due to an affair he had with a fouteen year old in school, is now extremely attracted to nyphets, as he calls them. This locks in with my other theories. Perhaps it was a combination of both genetics and early childhood experiences that drove him to chase after Lolita.

Even with all of this thinking, I'm still not exactly sure why I've become attracted to lolicon. Hell, I may never know. But I can still wonder, I suppose. Oh well.

Hentai (And lolicon) forever,
Kyouger.

P.S: I finally got Xbox Live! Though I may not be on it for a while (Problems at home; I'll make a blog post with more info when I get it.), you can add me if you wish. My gamertag is simply Kyouger. Keeps it simple.

As my friend byakuganwalker puts it,
P-E-A-C-E!

Happy Birthday to me.

Well, May 29th came and went. I forgot the name of the proxy site on the school's system, so I wasn't able to post that day. But it was my birthday, just so you know. I got the Orange Box and Guitar Hero 2. I may have reviews of them up soon, but no promises. I will say, however, that Guitar Hero 2 wasn't really up to my expectations (Not enough songs that I knew), and playing through two games just to get to Half-Life 2: Episode 2 really seems daunting. Since you can basically split all gamers into two catagories, people who like Halo and people who like Half-Life, I figure I might try to sample a bit of the foundation people base their flames on. Team Fortress I could care less about, seeing as I have no XBL, but Portal is actually very fun, and has some of the darkest, pitch black humor I've ever heard in a game. Plus, even Yahtzee Croshaw couldn't think of any critizism for it. That alone makes me want to get it. So yeah. That's about all I got.

It may be a couple more weeks before I get the computer back, guys. :(

Hentai forever,
Kyouger.