I've been watching cartoons for most of my life, and I believe that I have a pretty good understanding of them. Ever since I was old enough to walk, talk and eat solid foods (happened in that order), I've been fascinated by all manner of animated pictures. The first series I got hooked on (and I mean hooked) was the original Pokemon. I actually got in trouble for watching when I wasn't supposed to. That, and I loved being named after a TV character, as did my cousin.
I loved the first season of the show, and kept watching it until we moved, and had no cable for about a fricking YEAR! Anyway, when I returned to the series, it was now in the Johto region, and I was so excited about seeing so many new pokemon. But there in the back of my mind I realized I was going to have to give up some things, like being able to name all 150 pokemon (which I can still do to this day), but I didn't think much of it.
After Johto ended, I felt really good about the series and even bought a couple of games for the N64 and gameboy. But then, lo and behold, another series was about to take mine's place.
By now I was getting suspicious. The clips I had seen showed two new characters who I had never even met before (May and Max), and I felt confused. Where was Misty, the first animated girl I ever fell in love with (How could I not drool at a girl who is either wearing A) 4 inch shorts, or B) a mermaid outfit?); where was Brock, the lovable pervert who actually became my role model? This is when I finally just decided to let the series drop forever. I still watch a few episodes here and there (Mainly because Dawn is a nymphet; see 2nd post after this), but overall, it's basically dead to me.
Actually, I suppose I'm being overly mean. Most of the pokemon video games (With the exception of Pokemon: Revolution) have been really entertaining, and though I've never gotten all pokemon in each game, I've had gotten some real use out of Pokemon: Emerald, at least until I lost it. 138 hours of use, to be precise.
I could go on listing some more examples of how companies are unwilling to let good old serieses die just so they can reap a few more drops out of its teats, so I will.
Take Digimon. I never followed the original anime too closely (Or I my memory could be failing and I forgot most of them), but I'll admit that I loved the movie. One Halloween I even dressed up as... er... Gatomon, was it? I can't remember. Anyway. I thought the movie was tear-jerking, actiony and was good enough to keep me up all night thinking of different ways it could have gone. That's probably the first baby steps I took into the realm of fanfiction. But then, after something like seven motherfucking seasons, it's just fallen into the same rigmarole that the other seasons did, and did much better. The latest seasons have been nothing more than self-parodies, to be truthful.
Pokemon, Digimon, and Friday the 13th movie sequels all have the same problem: they all reach critical mass at around the 3rd installment, leading to directors who have fallen off their high horse desperately trying to get their audience back, and losing nearly as many as they get by spending less consideration to characters and more on flashy animation and marketing.
Look, as I've grown up and watched the world grow up around me, I've been disgusted with about 80% of it. TV channels like Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network have just been releasing worse and worse shows over the past three years or so. I might add that there are much less anime played on each of these channels, but that's another story.
The last good show to come out of CN was Ben 10, and even that felt like it was lacking something. I honest to god loved Teen Titans, and that's why it was such a frigging disappointment when they decided to take it off the air. Hell, even my mother, who generally stays as far away from animated shows as possible, was wondering what happened to Terra in the end.
Cartoon Network has produced some pretty good cartoons in the past: Dexter's Lab, Samurai Jack, Kids Next Door, Ed, Edd, and Eddy, Megas XL-friggin-R.
Most of these have been directed to the 8-10 year old audience, but Megas was geared towards a teenage audience more than the single digits. It was just like a Japanese Mecha show, but instead of featuring a yaoi fangirl bait as the main protagonist, Coop is an overweight, pop culture spewing junkyard dude who lives in Philly (A lot like me, except for the Philly part). It had a ton of inside jokes and references to music and anime that (Shock!) were actually funny! Not one recent show has made me laugh so hard, except to laugh at the ridiculousness of the concept.
As two more marks for Megas, Jamie is a lanky perv who likes chicks and money (Again, a lot like me), and Kiva is H-O-T hot. To top it all off, the show was still very action-packed, with Megas often facing off against unbeatable odds, only to have something go horribly wrong that saves the day, like accidentally teleporting a 36 ounce slushie into a mech which short-circuits the controls or making an MTV satellite fall from the sky and crush something. Fucking hilarious.
I'm still extremely ticked that it only lasted for two seasons, but I can kind of understand Cartoon Network's decision on this one. Probably more than a few parents with 6 year olds complained that the show wasn't kid-friendly enough, ignorant to the fact that their 6 year old loved the show to begin with. Even if they didn't get the jokes, they still liked the giant robots.
But lately, everything has gone from producing good shows with intelligent humor to producing shows with low production values and shit-faced characters. I would rather gouge my eyes out with dessert forks than watch these new shows. Chowder, Flapjack, George of the Jungle, Chop Socky Chooks; all of these shows are simply a way to cash in on 6 year old gullibility. Oh, and if any of you have never heard of Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, consider yourself lucky.
Nickelodeon did have couple of classic shows up its sleeve. I think it's been around since the 70s. The Angry Beavers, Rugrats, and The Wild Thornberrys, which was a Steve Irwin show in the guise of a cartoon show. Rocko's Modern Life I wish I could see again, because there were a lot of jokes I didn't get as a child that I'd probably get now. Regardless of all of these shows being at least decent, Nickelodeon never was the channel to beat when it came to cartoons. Most of its programming in the beginning consisted of wacky game shows like All That, Double Dare, the Amanda Show and so on. Plus, it was the channel that aired Animorphs, which I'm so dissapointed that I missed. I found the books about a year after the series ended. Such a shame.
Avatar: The Last Airbender is the only good cartoon that Nick currently has out, and has actually gained an extremely large following of otaku, much like myself. So what does Nick do? Put it on fucking hiatus. Thankfully, the hiatus is ending in July, but only FIVE EPISODES? Christ's sake! Look, Nick, I know you want people to watch your shows so people will advertise and you will get money. That's the way it works. So don't put one of your most watched shows on hiatus, get us hyped by showing teasers in other countries that eventually wind up on youtube in shaky-cam-o-vision and then only air five episodes!
And they say there's going to be a movie, but I doubt that. To me, "movie" is something that lasts more than an hour, not counting commercials. Most of the "movies" that Nick has shown have just been 1 hour specials. Look, being gone for six months means that you should have something to give us other than five episodes and a special. This is supposed to be the show finale, with Sozin's comet coming up. What were they doing this entire time; giving each other piggyback rides? Maybe they were tired of the cash and free hookers being thrown at them constantly.
All I can say is that there had better be something waiting for us after the five episodes. I can deal with waiting for Friday to see the next installment.
And I know for a fact that this crap isn't what kids want! If I loved pokemon when I was a kid (and most of the people in my school did as well), then why can't we go back to making more dramatic shows at slightly higher prices?
Look, if you feel the same way as I do, just comment. I'd appreciate it.
Links you should check out:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Wr0s37se92o RIP Nickelodeon 1979-2004
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Prjqu0F6d-U RIP Cartoon Network 1992-2004
Hentai forever,
Kyouger.
